Thursday, October 4, 2012

Brain v/s Girl Friend

Damn good read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Brain v/s Girl Friend



Akash was waiting for his love ....



"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"

"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff .... oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?", his brain advised.

"OK I will try"



Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "I'm sorry honey .. I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"



"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain ... "she would have had a nervous breakdown"



Akash ignored his brain .. "It's OK honey .. its only half an hour . no problem"



She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what occasion is today"

"OMG!!!", thought Akash .....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different parts ..

parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete memory scan.



Sheetal stared at Akash .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2 minutes now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Da**mn!!", thought Akash

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.

Akash is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?".. said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey .. U know my lousy memory.. I guess I can't recall what today is"


"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she shouted ... and started crying.

"How could you forget!! ..... it's my doggy's birthday"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

Akash was dumbfounded.

"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... don't worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ..brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity .... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to Akash.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggy's bday ..
how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise ...

"HUH!!!!!!! ........ Doggy is the name of my cat you je**rk"

She stood up angrily and left.

Akash and his brain were left there clueless.

:))

 

 

Error! Filename not specified.

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

EYES: Somebody did a good analysis...

Somebody did a good analysis…



India's Total Population 118 Crores.
Daily Death - 62389
D
aily Birth - 86853
Total Blinds - 682497


If
Daily Dead People Donate their Eyes,
within
11 Days all Blinds will be able to See.





Then in
India there will be NO Blinds.
Don't Delete this message without Sending At least to 1 Person
KINDNESS Costs NOTHING.

help them also to see like us
BELIEVE THIS......IT IS POSSIBLE WITH LOT OF AWARENESS.


Forward this as if it is your Prime duty…!!

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

A cup of tea in a 5 star hotel

Waiter: "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Person: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Person : "Ceylon tea "

Waiter : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Person: "white"

Waiter: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Person: "With milk "

Waiter: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Person: "With cow milk please.

Waiter: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Person: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Waiter: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Person: "With sugar"

Waiter: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Person: "Cane sugar "

Waiter:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Person: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Waiter: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Person: "Mineral water"

Waiter: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Person: I'll rather die of thirst..

Waiter: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

The dream of three animals... :P

 

 The dream of three animals...................
 





 


 





 


 .






 


> > > >
> > > >
  
> > > > And the best of all :

 .






 


> > > >
> > > >




 

 





 

 

A day spent without laughter is a day wasted

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

SO TRUE!

 

 

1 stone is enough to break a glass.
1 sentence is enough to break a heart.
1 sec is enough to fall in love.

But y d hell 1 chapter is not enough to pass in exam...???


A boy's eye is
Faster than Google in searching a
Beautiful girl in crowd...
:
But
...:
A boy's heart is slower than
Governments bus while
Proposing a Girl whom he truly
Loves.



"COLLEGE n SCHOOL are d nickname of HEAVEN"

Hmmm.....
Dats y it is said dat
"COUPLS r made in HEAVEN.




My Teacher pointed at me with a Ruler & said:
"At the End of this Ruler is an Idiot" I still don't get why I got rusticated.
I only asked him, "Which End Sir?"



 

Professor: What's attention deficit hyperactive disorder?
Student: jimbalakadi bamba.
Professor: Sorry, I don't undrstnd what u said?
Student: Same here sir!



Father to son: why don't u just go and study?
Son: what for?
Father: U'll get good marks...
Son: then?
Father: U'll get good job.
......Son: then?
Father: U'll have big house, new car.
Son: so what after that?
Father: after that U'll relax.
Son: so what do u think I m doing right now???



Announcement in University:

"The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them"

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes"


Ugly Truth:

In Bed,
It's 6AM,
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins...
...& it's 7:45

But in Office,
It's 9:30am
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins...
& It's Still 9:31

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

Mobile Power (Important)

1 Egg
2 Mobiles
65 minutes of connection between mobiles.
We assembled as per image:

 

Initiated the call between the two mobiles and allowed 65 minutes approximately...
During the first 15 minutes nothing happened;
25 minutes later the egg started getting hot;
 
45 minutes later the egg is hot;
65 minutes later the egg is cooked.
 

    
Conclusion:
 The immediate radiation of the mobiles has the potential to modify the proteins  of the egg. Imagine what it can do with the proteins of your brains  when you do long calls.
 
 
Please try to reduce long time calls on mobile phones and pass this mail to all your friends you care for.

I care So I Forwarded  … It's Your Turn Now…

 

 

 

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

Smile Please...:):)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

Have You Ever Seen Such a Tame Lion??? Unbelievable!

They have adopted this lion since he was a cub, fed him, took good care of him and look at the result!
I have always said that animals know the meaning of love more than some humans...

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.

Just for fun..!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please reply to the sender and destroy all copies of the original message. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email, and/or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.