Friday, October 5, 2012

World Smile Day :: 05 Oct 2012

 

 

 

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Situational FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

 

 

 

    Do not disturb me…

 

 

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Never be a Developer

Introduction:

Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)  
Mukesh Thakur (Developer)  
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in
username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.
 
Mukesh Thakur:  How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep
sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.
 
 
 After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.
  
 
After another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in
some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry
is not getting the sound.
 
 
After another 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has
Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt
speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use
head phones and then get the bug closed soon.
 
  
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is
Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but
My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound
as 'TONG'.
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The
Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do
You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them
uniform?
Please close it.
 
 

Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep
Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces
Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces
Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all
machines.
 
 
 
Another 2 days later,
 
Mukesh Thakur :  Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the
Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both
The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.
 
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug.
 
Mukesh Thakur :  What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for
re-opening?
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at
different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.
 
 
 
After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of
the
two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the
acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity
is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the
bugs.
 
 
 
After 1 year
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested
The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same
Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that
intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.
 
Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the
Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background
noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because
of background noice.
 
Roshan D'Mello :   No need for that. We will put the machines and run
them in vacuum and see.
 
Mukesh Thakur:   ??


  Result-----------------------


Mukesh Thakur is now in mental asylum while Roshan D'Mello has become QA Manager.

 

 

 

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Read and forward it.( From Microsoft Bill Gates)

From: Lavanya Lakshmanan
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 9:20 AM
To: Ajesh Vijay Vijayaragavan; Balaji Arumugam Punniamurthy; Kiran Babu; Thirupathi Chinnakolandai; Charishma V Shanmugam; Devarajan Jeeva; Roshan John; Ramesh Rajendran; Sabareesh Sivasubramaniam; Sai Kiran Patur; Anita Adepalley; Harshini Ramachandran; Jemima Joy Thangaraj; Mohana Aishwarya Manoharan; Sathish Kumar Perumal; Vimal Raj Arumugam; Shri Vinayaka Pandi Nataraja Karayalar; Sathish Kumar Kathirvel; Durga Phani Babu Chebolu; Hemanth Sai Chunduri; Avinav Prakash; Leena Reddy Kothapalli; Karthik Krishnasamy; Thyagaroyal Ganna; Jhansi Aaula; Janardhan Vundala; Sundar Ganesh Govindakumar; Selvakani Murugesan; Karthik Mohan Das; Meenambigai Pragash; Selva Sindhu Sakthivadivel; Sudheer Kumar Reddy Jetty; Preethiga Ambigapathy; Gowthami Shanmugasundaram; Sreekanth Adireddypalyam Rajendra; Sandeep Naruboina; Chakrapani Lokku Chenchaaiah; Abinaya Thevaram Dhanuskodi Karihalan; Nithya Sivadasan; Satheesh Muthu; Javeed Hussain Mohammad Nawab; Subramanian Sangaralingam; Suneel Kumar Pemmineti; Swathi Avileli Muni; Kala Panneerselvam; Alagumeenal Chidambaram; Viswanath Nidumukkala; Divya Ishwarya Ambavaram
Subject: Read and forward it.( From Microsoft Bill Gates) No harm in trying

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


 

  


 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys It's working

I have got $10000 .

Deepak


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got 450 $ credited in my HDFC account today only. Yahooooooooooooooooooo!!! hurreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Regards,
Apurv Gangwar

Cognizant Technology Solutions
Vnet: 55269


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hai this is not joke i got 4672$ credited in my ICICI account last week


Frnds I got $2163 today only..
So I am forwading to u frnds
Don't miss this chance

Regards,
Sathish kumar.
Vnet - 56639

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got $9386. Was shocked!!!
Hey!!!!!! Am not joking..................
This really works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


From: Amit Midha [mailto:
amit.midha@.... ]
Sent: 03/10/2005 6:24 PM
Subject: RE: UK Requirement

Dear Shiva n
This is really amazing I also got 5000 dollars via DD from HDFC, thot it was fake but it really worked..........the amount has been created to my account, what did you get.
Thanks for forwarding this mail

Amit Midha
Front Office Manager
The Trident Hilton
Opposite Jalmahal
Jaipur - 302002

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I got $12,101 credited with this months salary, that is why I am sending this to you guys. I am almost going mad. Planning to quit TCS and start a new company.. You guys can join hands. What to say yarr????


Love,
Ajay Joy
Tata Consultancy Services Limited

----- Forwarded by Ajay Joy/CHN/TCS on 09/02/2005 05: 09 PM -----

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
-----Original Message-----
From: Praharsh
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 2:35 PM
Subject: RE: UK Requirement



Hey guys !!!
this is cool
really cooollllll
I forwarded this mail to three chaps just half an hour back and i just forgot about it..
then i saw my salary slip, checked my account in the net.
i was wonder stuck to see $30000/- added to my account !! transferred from ms office thru western money transfer !!!
its amazing guys !!!
Go for it.
Act fast. at least before this stupid bill gates gets bankrupt...........
and in case this is true, there is not much time left......
so congratulations in advance.....
for becoming a millionair so easily...
like me.......

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Subject: RE: UK Requirement

Hey dudes and dudettes.......this is truly amazing.........I got $12,545 a few weeks back.......it indeed works.....and hope it works out for all of u..................for details contact me...........

Thnks & Rgds,

Dinesh.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Subject: FW: UK Requirement
Importance: High


Hi,
I got $9386. Was shocked!!! This is cool.
Please forward...

Regards
Ajay

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


From: Naveen Kumar Gupta
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: RE: UK Requirement


I have also gotten 34271$ cheque last week for the same knid of mail.You can also try your luck
J


Thanks,
Naveen Gupta.
Extn: 9256


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


From: Ashish Gangwar
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:59 AM
Subject: RE: UK Requirement


I have gotten 17934$ cheque some time ago for the same kind of mail. You can also try your luck J

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
From: Rashmi G. S
Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2007 2:07 PM
Subject: RE: Microsoft -Don\'t miss this chance....

Hey its really working..


Its not a joke.
Really amazing !!!


I have got $10002 !!!!
 
Isn't tat coooolll !!!!


-Rashmi
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


 

with regards,s.banik


 


 


 


 

-- DeepiK@ G@ur


 


 


 




--
regards,
Meenal Ahuja



" kEYboARd iS MigHtieR tHAn sWOrd "


 


 


 

-- Thanks & RegardsAshok Kumar.....Xs Media Pvt. Ltd.VikashPuri, Delhi(.* Always`*.`*.* Keep(.*讪䠓miling!`*.讪䄥lhi +91-9350221132UP +91 -9358790141 

 

   -- P Please don't print this Email unless you really need to - this will preserve trees on planet earth. ========================================================================================  

-- Regards,mrinmoy roy 0943730432709583782588

 

 

-- Paritosh NathInstitute of Life ScienceChandrasekhar purBhubaneswarOrissa, Indiapin-751023mob.-+91-9237714318

--

Dibakar Sahoo

Business Head

 

KDC TECHNOLOGIES

D2/2 Rasulgarh Industrial Estate
Bhubaneswar - 751 010
ORISSA - INDIA

Phone : + 91 933 77 10100

kdc@kdc-technologies.com

 

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--
With Thanks
vinaykumar



--
Thank you very much,

With Best Regards,

NAZEER BEDRODY
KBR
PAYROLL
ACCOUNTS & FINANCE DEPT.
18 th FLOOR, SHIEK ZAYED Rd.. DUBAI UAE
CELL NO # 00971- 0502919588
EMAIL:-   naazadvocate@gmail.com
               naazb11@yahoo.com

 



Treat yourself at a restaurant, spa, resort and much more with Rediff Deal ho jaye!

 

 




--

Ahsanul- Haq

President

Jalandhar Management Association

Rattan Tower, 3rd Floor, Above Samsung Plaza

Namdev Chowk

Jalandhar, Punjab

 

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Happy Weekend..! Just For Laughs..!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Collection of Creative Things..

 

Have a Cool day :)

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Superb Inspirational Quotes Forever..!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
  

 

 

 

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Tomato Story..!

       

YOU Will Know What Is Better When It Comes To Earning Money

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed" he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".

"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,

he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation t hr ee times,

and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.


He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.

The man replied,"I don't have an email."

The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!" The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story

Moral 1

Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2

If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3

If you received this message by email,

you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire..........

P.S - Do not forward this email back to me,

I am closing my email account & going to sell tomatoes!!!

 

  

 

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Small Questionnaire to Test your Intelligence

A Small Questionnaire to Test your Intelligence


Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.....


Ready? GO!!!


First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What
position are you in?











Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so
you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?



Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?


















Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell
me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?











Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.


Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?





Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100..


If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.







Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana 2. Nene 3. Nini 4. Nono What is
the name of the fifth daughter?









Did you Answer Nunu ?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!





Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I'm never sure.










A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.







Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?







He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!













PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE


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Do you find office boring..!??

If you find it very boring in the office,

 

Here are some tips for u!!!!

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

 

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

 

 

3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet mail (and

immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your

mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach

there.

Then do vice versa....!!

 

 

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to

irritate him/her.

 

 

5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

 

6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working and

try changing your expressions also.

 

 

 

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking

silly doubts. (IMPORTANT)

 

 

8. Have a three and half hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

 

 

9. Learn to whistle.

 

 

10. Revise last week's newspaper.

 

 

11. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

 

12. Make faces at strangers in office.

 

 

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

 

 

14. Enhance your Literature skills. you can author "1001 innovative ways to

waste your day" to help your colleagues

 

 

15. Pick up the phone and dial non-existing nos.

 

 

16. Have work breaks in between tea.

 

 

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at a time.

 

 

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..

 

Then repeat this process.(very important)

 

 

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he

was 5 years old.

 

 

20. Read jokes and send jokes.

 

 

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a

nap.

 

 

22. Send this mail to only one at a time to everyone in your contact list.

 

 

 

ENJOY EVERYTHING IN YOUR OFFICE. . .

 

 

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