Friday, January 18, 2013

Power'u ************

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thalaiva !!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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FUNNY WEDDING QUERY..!!!

Wedding Query........ ........

HUSBAND'S QUERY

CREATE PROCEDURE
MyMarriage (
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) )

AS
BEGIN


SELECT
Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire'

AND
Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND
BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MBA) AND Having Brothers= Null

AND
Sisters =Full



SELECT
Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance

FROM
FatherInLaw

UPDATE
MyBankAccout

SET
MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal


UPDATE
MyLocker

SET
MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold

INSERT INTO
MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO

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Then the wife writes the below query:


DROP
HUSBAND;
Commit;

 

 

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Stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations... and irritated answers

 

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.


1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-

Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-

No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-

Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-

No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-

Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-

Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-

No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-

Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-

Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-

Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-

No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-

Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-

Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

 

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English Vinglish

The English Plural

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing..........


If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.???

 

 

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How far can you fly???

A bird can never know its ability to fly unless it tries.. similarly, we will never know how much we can achieve, unless we try.. Have a happy day J

 

 

 

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Best moments of LIFE

 

Best Moments of Life

 

 

Some of the Best Moments in Life:

 

* To fall in love.


* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.


* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.


* To listen to your favorite song in the radio.


* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside..


* To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm.


* To clear your last exam.


* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.


* To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year ...


* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))


* To laugh without a reason.


* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.


* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.


* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.


* To be part of a team.


* To watch the sunset from the hill top.


* To make new friends.


* To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.


* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.


* To take an evening walk along the beach.


* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.


* To laugh .......laugh. .......and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.


These are some the best moments of life....


cherish them.

 

 

 

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How Karunanidhi chose Stalin as his successor

Revealed in pictures: How Karunanidhi chose Stalin as his successor

Filed under: Featured,General,Latest |

Follow @TheUnRealTimes

Kalaignar Karunanidhi today settled the issue of succession in DMK for good today, when he announced that his younger son MK Stalin will take over as the party head after him. How did the DMK patriarch choose Stalin over his eldest son Azhagiri and daughter Kanimozhi, when it seemed that each of them were equally capable of leading the party? The Unreal Times correspondent Madasamy brings you the story in pictures:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

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