Friday, March 1, 2013

திருமணமானவர்கள் ­ கீழே படிக்கவேண்டாம்

ஒரு பெண்மணி நடு இரவில் தூக்கத்தில் எழுந்து தன் கணவர் அருகில் இல்லாததை உணர்ந்து அவரைத் தேடினார்..!

வீடு முழுவதும் தேடி, கடைசியில் அவர் சமையலையறையில் அமர்ந்திருந்ததை­க் கண்டார், அவருக்கு முன்னால் காபி இருந்தது.

அவர்ஆழ்ந்த சிந்தனையில் சுவரை வெறித்துப் பார்த்தபடி அமர்ந்திருந்தார்.

இடையிடையே கண்ணில் வழியும் கண்ணீரைத் துடைத்தபடி காபியை அருந்திக் கொண்டிருப்பதைக் ­ கண்டார்.

மனம் பதைபதைத்து அவர் அருகில் சென்று, இதமாகக் கையைப் பிடித்து, "என்ன ஆயிற்று? இந்த நடு இரவில் இங்கே வந்து தனியாக அமர்ந்திருக்கிறீர்களே?" என்று கேட்டார்.

கணவன்: உனக்கு நினைவிருக்கிறதா..?

20 வருடங்களுக்கு முன்னால் உனக்கு 18 வயதாகும் போது நாம் இருவரும் தனியாக பார்க்கில் சந்தித்தோமே..?

மனைவி: ஆமாம், நினைவிருக்கிறது.

கணவன் (தொண்டை அடைக்கக் கமறலுடன்): அன்று உன் அப்பாவிடம் இருவரும் மாட்டிக்கொண்டோமே..?

மனைவி: ஆமாம் (கணவரின் கண்களைத் துடைத்து விடுகிறார்)

கணவன்: என் நெற்றிப்பொட்டில் துப்பாக்கியை வைத்து "மரியாதையாக என் பெண்ணைத் திருமணம் செய்து கொள்கிறாயா..?

இல்லை, 20 ஆண்டுகள் உன்னை ஜெயிலுக்கு அனுப்பவா?" என்று உன் அப்பா என்னைக் கேட்டது உனக்கு நினைவிருக்கிறதா..?

மனைவி: அதுவும் நினைவில் இருக்கிறது. அதற்கென்ன..?

கணவன் கண்களைத் துடைத்தவாறு: அன்று என்னை ஜெயிலுக்கு அனுப்பியிருந்தால் இன்று எனக்கு விடுதலை நாள்…!

இதுக்கு அப்புறம் விழுந்தது அடி, கேட்கவா வேணும்…!

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CAPTAIN CAPTAIN CAPTAIN CAPTAIN CAPTAIN nu thaan KOOPIDANUM

So stressed????  Here comes the captain to entertain you………JJJJJJJJJ

 

 

 

 

 

Father of dinesan!!!

 

Vijayakanth :   Mahatma Gandhi oda pulla peru enna nu theriyuma?


Rajinikanth : Theiyalaye captain. Ungalukku theriyuma?

 

Vijayakanth:  Dinesan. Cha, enna Rajini neenga..

 

Rajinikanth :  ?!?

Vijayakanth:  Chinna vayasula teacher solli kodukkala? Mahatma Gandhi is the father of Dinesan!

Rajinikanth: Dei, Adhu Father of the Nation da..

*****************************************************************************************************************

Vijayakanth : Dinner treat machi..come to Bobby Ganesan..

Rajinikanth : Come to what?

Vijayakanth : Bobby Ganesan da..

Rajinikanth : I dunno the place...I ll come to ur house...u take me there..

Vijayakanth : What da? u dunno Bobby Ganesan..ok come..
(goes to Vijayakanth's place and goes in his car to that place)

Rajinikanth : dai...it's not Bobby Ganesan...it's Barbeque Nation da...

 

**********************************************************************************************************************

 

Vijaykant: yenpa, eda ketalum, Gokula paru Gokula paru nu solranga.
Yaru pa anda Gokul?

Goundamani: dai dappa thalaya
adhu gokul illa da, Google...

 

************************************************************************************************************************

 

 

Vijaykant: Aey pulle I've tickets 4 inglis movie, wan2 gum?

Girl: which 1?

Vijaykant: "Kaesari yil oil"

Girl: Wat?Show the tickets
Ada Naaye it's
"Casino Royal
                      

 

 

 

JJJ

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Yours Truly, TL

 Appraisal letter from a TL about his team member:

Dear Manager (HR),

Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle.
Vivek  works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.

Signed

Project Leader

And then read the second mail, sent immediately!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In second mail same TL wrote:


NB:
That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report

sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13)

for my true assessment of him.

 

 

 

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A Story

 

 

The Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students "How much do you think this glass weighs?"

.

'50gms!'….. '100gms!' …..'125 gms' …the students answered.

.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is:

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"…. .
'Nothing' …..the students said.

.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students

.
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!"
….. Ventured another student & all the students laughed
.
"Very good.
But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" Asked the professor.
'No'…. Was the answer.
"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"
.
The students were puzzled.
"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.
"Put the glass down!" said one of the students
.
"Exactly!" said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this.
.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
.
Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
.
It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before you go to sleep…

.
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

Moral of the story:

 

So, when you start your day today, Remember friend to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!!!'

 

 

 

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An Awesome Story .......... The Goat And The Horse...

There was a farmer who had a horse and a      

goat…..


One day, the horse became ill

 


so he called the veterinarian, who said:      
                                             
"Well, your horse has a virus.       
He must take this medicine for three days.  I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not  
better, we're going to have to put him down.          
                                             
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.                                  
                                             
The next day, they gave the horse the medicine and left.                        
                                             
The goat approached the horse and said:        
"Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!                                        
                                             
On the second day, they again gave the horse the medicine and left.          
                                             
The goat came back and said:                  
"Come on buddy, get up or  else you're going to die!                      
Come on, I'll help you get up.
Let's go! One, two, and three..."                  
                                             
On the third day, they came to give the horse the medicine and the vet said:      
                                             
"Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow.                        
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses".                  
                                             
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said:                            
"Listen pal, it's now or never!                
Get up, come on! Have courage!                
Come on! Get up! Get up!                      
That's it, slowly! Great!                      
Come on, one, two, and three... Good, good.        
Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run
more!                                          
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion...!"        


              
All of a sudden, the owner came back,    saw the horse running in the                  
field and began shouting:                      
                                             
It's a miracle! My horse is cured.  We must have a grand party. Let's kill the goat!!!!

 


                                             
The Lesson:
                                   
Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.                        
                                             

Remember:                                      

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL   !!!                                      
                                             
If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember:                  
                                             
Amateurs built the Ark
[which saved all the species]                                                              
and                                                                                      
 

Professionals built the Titanic [all died tragically] 

 

 

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WOW Facts of Life.....

Try to read this it's worth reading….

 

 

The statements recorded below are outcomes of science and psychological studies…helps better to understand the reasons behind acts and it effects, the list may be somewhat lengthy, but hope it will make you curious as you move over…..check it out

 

·        A hug that lasts for 20 seconds releases oxytocin, which can make someone trust you more.

 

·        Depressed people actually dream up to three times as much as non-depressed people.

 

·        Men and women who listen to music more often tend to be better communicators.

 

·        The feeling of loneliness is processed in the same part of the brain as physical pain.

 

·        Blue color has a calming effect, releases calming hormones in the brain.

 

·        Cursing when you're hurt helps to reduce the pain.

 

·        Listening to 'sarcastic' people daily will make you more creative.

 

·        The higher your I.Q. the more you dream.

 

·        Hearing someone call out your name when nobody has actually called out your name, is a sign of a healthy mind.

 

·        Emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes, anything longer than that is considered to be self-inflicted.

 

·        Over 80% of the time, it's not the actual person you miss, but the moments you created with that individual.

 

·        Faking a smile can actually increase and boost your mood.

 

·        A psychological study found that men often find funny women intimidating.

 

·        Ants go to war similar to humans. They use even more advanced strategies such as sending the weaker ants out to fight first.

 

·        The average woman will pack about 26 items in her suitcase that she'll never need.

 

·        When a person dies, their sense of hearing is the last to go.

 

·        You are more creative late at night and less creative in the afternoon.

 

·        Kissing can speed up your metabolism. Couples that engage in 3 to 5 kisses per day are less likely to be overweight.

 

·        Studies found that children who are better liars, tend to become more successful adults.

 

·        Listening to music is actually one of the few activities that uses the entirety of the human brain.

 

·        Insecure people are more likely to hate people that they barely even know.

 

·        Over-thinking about something slows down your brain.

 

·        Speaking more than one language makes your brain more agile and also increases your IQ.

 

·        Gossip actually triggers the part of a woman's brain that is associated with pleasure and happiness.

 

·        Women prefer men with a good sense of humor because it's associated with intelligence and honesty.

 

·        Pain can completely change the way a person looks at and deals with their everyday life.

 

·        Fear momentarily improves your vision and decision-making ability.

 

·        Talking to yourself has been proven to actually make you smarter.

 

·        The brain is a powerful thing. Worrying about getting sick can actually make you sick.

 

·        Singing helps the human mind to avoid depression as well as anxiety.

 

·        If you talk to someone while walking together, your footsteps will eventually synchronize with each other.

 

·        70% of people lay in bed at night remembering past conversations, imagining what they should have said instead.

 

·        Kids who took music lessons have higher IQs.

 

·        Chocolate lowers cholesterol, relieves stress, strengthens the immune system, and reduces anxiety.

 

·        Smiling is contagious. Do it more often.

 

·        Girls who have more 'guy friends' than 'girl friends' go through less depression and anxiety.

 

·        Napping after learning something new actually help store it permanently in your mind.

 

·        Over 70% of people will see things in their dreams, and then at some point later see the same thing in real life.

 

·        psychological studies suggest, when you can't stop thinking about someone, it's likely because they're thinking about you as well.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dont miss it :)

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God's Promise!!

Some days you will try your best and it will not feel like enough.

Some days the words you want to heal will hurt instead.

Some days you will question everything you do and why you do it.

This doesn't mean you're a failure.

Or you should quit.

Or God is mad at you.

It just means this…

All of your days you will be human.

All of your days you will grow but not reach perfection.

All of your days there will be grace enough for you.

Keep going, friend.

Keep trying.

Keep moving forward.

I know it's hard on some days. But you are more than those days.                                                                                            God Loves u!! J

And at the end of all your days you will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

That will make it all worthwhile.

So close your eyes and remember you are loved by God

Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

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Great Thoughts!!!

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Disappoinments are....

 

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LOL :P :)

Laugh Out loud :D :D

 

 

See , How people write leave Applications. It's murder of English

language. But Too Funny.

 

The Leave Applications; )

 

• IBM, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

 

'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,

please sanction me one-week leave.'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing

the 'mundan' ceremony of his 10 year old son:

 

'as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days..'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was

performing his daughter's wedding:

'as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

'As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it,

please grant me 10 days leave.'

 

(Dial 100, Guys! )

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

'Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not

return, please grant me half day casual leave'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• An incident of a leave letter:

'I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.'

 

(Excuse me, Are you a president/­prime minister??? )

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• A leave letter to the headmaster:

'As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I

request you to leave me today'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

'As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Covering note:

'I am enclosed herewith...'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Another one:

'Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Actual letter written for application of leave:

'My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at

home I may be granted leave'.

 

(where are others ?? he he he he )

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• Letter writing:-

'I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.'

 

_______________­_______________­__

 

• A candidate's job application:

'This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and

an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past

several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am

applying for the post.

 

Killer English........­........ u will love it

 

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls' hostel

pulling cigarette...? "

(WOW...like a table top???....have heard about pulling legs, this is

something new)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father

(Any other options???)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

 

"Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

(Who??? paper or student???)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America..."

(hmmm...interes­ting)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..." CGR

(Topsy-turvy)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

Don't laugh at the back benches...other­wise teeth and all will be

fallen down.....

(Grrr....this person needs Basic Communication Skills Class Room Training)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried

to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said

 

"why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

(New Discovery)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

Teacher in a furious mood...

 

Write down your name and father of your name!!

(Excuse me...)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

(Gr8...is he a satellite or sumthing???)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

My manager started like this

 

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

(Child marriages are banned... :D)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

(What an illustration...­I like this professor)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

"Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

(Well, you can proceed, would u like to leave a note behind as well...)

 

************ ********* ********* ************ *

 

LIBRARIAN SCOLDED," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN, I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

(That will be better....)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

 

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

(No Comments...chem­ical locha!!!)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

(Because we want to check similarities :-) )

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

 

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code...

 

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

(In terms of 1's n 0's)

 

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class,

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

(2 minz of silence)

***************­***************­**********

The PT master told the students who were notorious.

"Hey, from tomorrow onwards you both come together separately"

(Make it possible and I will reward my life time savings...)

***************­***************­**************

 

PT master to his students "Do you know? I have 2 daughters. Both are girls!!!"

(You need some counselling dude...)

***************­***************­**********

master to his students by pointing his scooter that is parked under a tree,

"See there.My scooter is understanding the tree!!!"

(Wow...when do the non living things started having affairs???)

***************­***************­***********

PT master rocks again,

"Okay guys, all of you stand in a straight circle!"

(Wow what an oxymoron...)

 

 

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